Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
