garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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