And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
