But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I'm really busy with my period
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