Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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