the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
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I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
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Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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