That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
