did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
