either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
