It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
