Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Sorandom420 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(530): View more from California

Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake

Fav 27 1762 907
share tweet
(604): View more from British Columbia

The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.

Fav 57 1635 6927
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.

Fav 15 3653 2004
share tweet
(386): View more from Florida

being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.

Fav 15 3013 1562
share tweet
(813): View more from Florida

Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??

Fav 12 3534 1769
share tweet
(917): View more from New York City

I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.

Fav 14 855 1290
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(202): View more from Washington, DC

You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.

Fav 11 864 2076
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(360): View more from Washington

So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?

Fav 0 36 12
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(305): View more from Florida

I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo

Fav 0 87 11
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT