i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
How external is "for external use only"?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
