When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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