even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
