you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
