Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
