Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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