I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
