just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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