Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I wear drunk well.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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