I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
