i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
