if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
