Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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