ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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