And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
