It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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