True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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