Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Holy sore nipples Batman
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
