I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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