i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
