another moral hangover. fuck.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
