after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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