Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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