suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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