The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
