maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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