Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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