just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
