she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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