I cockslap morals
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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