I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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