Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
