I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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