I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
