I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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