I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
