they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
