goodnight i made you a song goodbye
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Drunk is a universal language darling
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