I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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