i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
