Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
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