and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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