her vagine was all disorganized.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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