I'm lost and stupid without you.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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