I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
