I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Randomize
