On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
