I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
