Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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