Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left http://tfl.nu/1ikl
  Replies (7) Good night (674) Bad night (3708)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her. http://tfl.nu/z3i9
  Replies (141) Good night (922) Bad night (2881)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer. http://tfl.nu/qapf
  Replies (48) Good night (4210) Bad night (3135)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming http://tfl.nu/enr3
  Replies (19) Good night (975) Bad night (2729)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (575): How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows. http://tfl.nu/n4qx
  Replies (26) Good night (1678) Bad night (3932)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us http://tfl.nu/zpdd
  Replies (14) Good night (6954) Bad night (945)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  You're welcome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits. (414): You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/kntv
  Replies (9) Good night (2157) Bad night (1114)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy" http://tfl.nu/xm1o
  Replies (6) Good night (1465) Bad night (678)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success. http://tfl.nu/50hi
  Replies (9) Good night (1716) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Almost there.

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Almost there. (1-402): define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway. http://tfl.nu/xjed
  Replies (1) Good night (1775) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying. http://tfl.nu/oo2a
  Replies (14) Good night (654) Bad night (1375)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects http://tfl.nu/c75x
  Replies (3) Good night (1451) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey. http://tfl.nu/gju4
  Replies (4) Good night (513) Bad night (1059)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia http://tfl.nu/u6m4
  Replies (0) Good night (294) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith. http://tfl.nu/2rsg
  Replies (6) Good night (597) Bad night (294)

Randomize