You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum