i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
it's great music for shaving your balls
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
