We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
